I'll Never Tell
 (Xander & Anya)

Anya:
 This is the man that I plan to entangle
Isn't he fine?
My claim to fame was to maim and to mangle
Vengeance was mine
But I’m out of the biz
The name I made I'll trade for his
The only trouble is...
I’ll never tell

Xander:
She is the one she's such wonderful fun
Such passion and grace
Warm in the night when I’m right
In her tight--
embrace,
Tight embrace
I’ll never let her go
The love we've known can only grow
There's just one thing that--
No.
I’ll never tell
Both: 'cause there's
Nothing to tell

Anya:He snores
Xander:She wheezes
Anya:Say "housework," and he freezes
Xander:She eats these Skeezy cheeses
That I can't describe
Anya:I talk,
He breezes
Xander:She doesn't know
What please is
Anya:His penis got diseases
From a chumash tribe
The vibe gets kind of scary
Xander:Like she thinks I'm ordinary
Anya:Like it's all just temporary
Xander:Like her toes are kind of hairy
But it's all very well
'Cause, god knows,
I'll never tell

Anya:When things get rough
He just hides behind his Buffy
Now look, he's getting huffy
'Cause he knows that I know
Xander:She clings,
She's needy
She's also really greedy
She never--
Anya:His eyes are beady
Xander:This is my verse,
Hello? She--

Anya:Look at me!
I'm dancin' crazy!

You know
Xander:You're quite the charmer
Anya:My knight in armour
Xander:You're the cutest of the scoobies
With your lips as red as rubies
And your firm yet supple--
Tight embrace

Anya:He's swell
Xander:She's sweller
He'll always be my feller
Xander:That's why I’ll never
Tell her that I’m petrified
Anya:I’ve read this tale
There's wedding
Then betrayal
I know there'll come the day
I'll want to run and hide

I lied
I said it's easy
I’ve tried
But there's these fears I can't quell
Xander:Is she looking for a pot of gold?
Anya:Will I look good when I’ve gotten old?
Xander:Will our lives become too stressful
If I’m never that successful?
Anya:When I get so worn and wrinkly
That I look like David Brinkley
Xander:Am I crazy?
Anya:Am I dreamin'?
Xander:Am I marrying
A demon?
We could
Really raise the beam
In makin' marriage a hell
So, thank god,
I'll never tell
Anya:I swear
That I’ll never tell
Xander:My lips
Are sealed
Anya:I take the fifth
Xander:Nothing to see,
Move it along
I’ll never
Tell